So here we are again, the 14th of February. The day that couples across the world express their undying love for one another and the cheesy PDA messages increase tenfold.
I personally think it’s a silly holiday. Even in the past when I’ve been in relationships I never celebrated Valentines day. I’ve just never understood the need to show your love with gifts, especially only because it’s expected that you do so on one particular day of the year. I feel it’s become more about obligation than love. It’s not really ‘here are some flowers as a token of my love’ but more like ‘I bought you some flowers because I knew you’d be pissed if I didn’t’. It’s really just a huge consumerism holiday in my opinion (as bitter as that makes me sound, lol).
But although I don’t celebrate Valentines day, I have to admit it’s pretty depressing scrolling through social media on February 14th as a singleton. I can’t help but feel a bit left out and wonder what’s wrong with me, especially when it seems like EVERYONE else is all loved up. Today I realised there’s a lack of self-love in my life. That’s what’s “wrong” with me. I noticed very recently that I rarely keep promises to myself. I say that I’ll do X, Y and Z for myself but when the times comes I never end up making time to actually do it. I would never break promises to my friends or family, especially multiple times. It would make me feel terrible. So why do I think it’s OK to keep breaking promises to myself?
Undeniably I have come a very, very long way in my journey of self-love over the years. Just a few years ago I couldn’t even accept a compliment from someone without thinking they were being facetious. But there’s clearly a long way to go. Instead of trying to find someone to love and be loved by, I need to be making a real conscious effort to learn how to do it myself. I don’t want to spend my whole life relying on others to make me feel good about myself. I read a quote once that said:
“Fill your cup first and allow the world to benefit from your overflow”
And it makes sense when you think about it. How can I pour from an empty cup? How can I give and receive love to/from others if I can’t do it for myself? Why does someone else’s approval suddenly make me more valuable?
It doesn’t… So instead of having a pity party about my single life, I’m going to be kinder and more patient with myself. And maybe one day, slowly but surely, I can master the art of self-love.